私下来？撕下来？

老师正在教书时。。。

同学：“老师，我有问题想问您。”
老师会心一笑：“好，待会儿下课撕下来见我。”

下课时。。。

同学：“老师您看这题。”
老师：“你怎么...怎么把课文撕下来啊？”
同学:"您不是叫我‘撕下来’见您吗？"

说话的艺术

急事，慢慢地说！
大事，清楚地说；
小事，幽默地说。
没把握的事，谨慎地说；
没发生的事，不要胡说。
做不到的事，别乱说；
伤害人的事，不能说。
讨厌的事，对事不对人地说。
开心的事，看场合说；
伤心的事，不要见人就说。
别人的事，小心地说；
自己的事，听听自己的心怎么说。
现在的事，做了再说；
未来的事，未来再说。
如果有对我不满意的地方，请一定要对我说！

Reborn Bruce Lee

三名旅行者

一共有三名旅客在沙漠中迷失方向。走着走着，他们也逐渐绝望。正当他们已精疲力尽时，美国旅客发现了一个神灯。中国旅客把神灯捡起，用力的擦了几下，一名灯神从神灯里冒出。

“我能让你们各自实现三个愿望。”灯神说。

法国旅客说：“我第一个愿望是要很多很多的美女，第二个是要回到我家，第三个愿望是要把这些美女带回家。”

美国旅客说：“我第一个愿望是要很多很多的美酒，第二个是要回到我家，第三个愿望是要把美酒带回我家。”

说毕，他们便消失得无影无踪。

这时，中国旅客才慢条斯理的说道：“我的第一个愿望是把法国旅客的美女带来沙漠，第二个愿望是把美国旅客的美酒带来着，第三个愿望是把他们两个人都变回来。”

灯神说：“你的愿望也将被达成。”

说毕，那两名可怜的旅客便与美酒，美女一同回到沙漠。

法国和美国旅客不断咒骂中国旅客，但中国旅客不以为然。

不久，同样的事情发生了。

但，这次的灯神，法力较低，只能让他们实现两个愿望。

法国旅客说：“我第一个愿望是要回到我家，第二个愿望是要把这些美女带回家。”

美国旅客说：“我第一个愿望是要回到我家，第二个愿望是要把美酒就带回我家。”

说完，他们便消失得无影无踪。

这时，中国旅客说：“我的愿望只有一个，那就是让他们回来陪我。”

灯神说：“你的愿望也将被达成。”

说完，美国和法国旅客又回来了。

第三次，同样的事情有发生了。

美国与法国游客有同样的想法：“反正到头来还是归零，倒不如好好享受。”

于是，美国人与法国人各要了美酒和美女。

这时，中国人才说：“我要回家。”

The Scientist and the Frog

There once was a scientist who studied frogs. One day, the scientist put the frog on the ground and told it to jump. The frog jumped four feet.

So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with four feet, jumps four feet."

So the scientist cut off one of one of the frogs legs. The scientist told the frog to jump. Frog jumped three feet. So the scientist wrote in his note book, "Frog with three feet, jumps three feet."

So the scientist cut of another leg. He told the frog to jump. The frog jumped two feet. So the scientist wrote in his notebook "Frog with two feet, jumps two feet."

The scientist cut off one more leg. He told the frog to jump. Frog jumped one feet. So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with one foot, jumps one feet."

So the scientist cut off his last leg.

"He said, "Frog jump. Frog jump. FROG JUMP!"

So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with no feet, goes deaf."

Who Is God?

A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"

"Both son. God is both."

After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"

"Both son, both."

"Daddy, does God love children?"

"Yes son, he loves all children."

The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"

While the Cat's Away

A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend.

They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they're just lying there, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:

"Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful.... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

"Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

Drunk at Your Door

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock -- it's half-past three in the morning.

"I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.

He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?"

"No. Get lost, it's half-past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you.

Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's door to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"

"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.

"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."

So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and, not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts: "Hey, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out "Yeah please."

So, still being unable to see the stranger, he shouts: "Where are you?"

And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing set."

医生与病人

有一个人，他写信给一名医生，信里写着：“亲爱的医生，我得了一种怪病，请问我可以私下来见您吗?”
医生说：“可以啊。明天下午来见我。”


隔天下午，那人来见医生，医生说：“我很忙，快点说。”
病人：“我得了一种怪病，那就是当我说话时，我看不见别人。”
医生：“那是在什么情况？”
病人：“当我再听电话时。”

=.=''

U need to listen to the whole story

Eat more chocalate , you feet will become smaller

Based on Medical school, it really work !!!

slim down doraemon??