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Friday, May 30, 2008

Congressman's Money

A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money."

The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States congressman!"

The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"

Let's Talk

A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, "What would you like to talk about?"

Oh, I don't know," said the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy thought about it and said, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall

A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"

The cop asked, "What's he like?"

The little boy replied, "Beer and women with big boobs."

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Don't watch this video if you don't like to eat pork.

Some joke about politic

Inside Indian Heaven

An Indian man died and went to heaven. When he arrived at the heaven Gate Siva the God said, 'Come on in. I'll show you around. You'll like it here.'

Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere. There
were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in every corner.

It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.

Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked, 'God Siva, what's the deal? Why are all these clocks here in heaven?¨ God Siva replied, 'The clocks keep track of things on earth. There is one clock for each person.

Every time the person on earth tells a lie, his clock moves one minute.'

'For instance, this clock is for VK Lingam, the lawyer. If you
watch it closely, it will move.

'Click' The minute hand on VK Lingam's clock moved one minute.
'Click' It moved another minute. ' VK Lingam must be with some judges right now.' said God Siva. ' The minute hand on his clock moves all day.'

'Why the minute hand suddenly jumps three times?' God Siva smiles
and said ' He must have just said 'correct, correct, correct !'. I
see it jumps like that quite often.


The man and God Siva continued walking. Soon, they came to a strange
looking clock with some springs sticking out. Siva said ' Oh ! That
is Paul Augustine 's clock. During the Anwar's trial, the clock
spinned so fast and the springs came out each time he said
'irrelevant and irrelevant'. Now it is moving quite smoothly'.

The man and God Siva continued their walk . They came to a clock
with cobwebs on the minute hand. 'Whose clock is this?' asked the man.
That clock belongs to the Lawyer Karpal Singh. He is one of the finest, God-fearing, people on earth. I bet his clock hasn't moved in a year or two.'

They continued walking and touring heaven. The man enjoyed watching the clocks of all his friends. When the tour was finished, the man said, 'I've seen everyone's clock but Mr.Samy Vellu's. Where is his clock?

God Siva smiled, 'Just look up. We use his clock as a ceiling fan.
That's why it is so cooling here. '

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